So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
"it" just moved
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
