well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
