thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Randomize
