All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
