so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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