I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
