dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
