i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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