I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Randomize
