is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
