Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
