He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Farmville is her only friend.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Randomize
