We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
