i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
