I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
