i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
