Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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