I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Are we in a gay sports bar?
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
