Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
