so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
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Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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