I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
me + whiskey = a bad person
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
