OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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