Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
