Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
