I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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