hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
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i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
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Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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