They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
