every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
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On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
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Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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