If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I pour the whiskey from now on
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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