we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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