just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
