we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Randomize
