ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
