If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
