Taylor Swift is so right about you.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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