I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Randomize
