we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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