Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
