Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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