OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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