im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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