thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
she woke up with a sticky ear
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Randomize
