i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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