I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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