If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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