Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I still have a little drunk in my system
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
