quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I wish there were birth control emojis
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
