she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.