And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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