Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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