he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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