So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
