Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
