Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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