her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
