she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
