How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
